By Count Friedrich von Olsen

A candidate for public office was asked why he was running for election. “Well,” he intoned very seriously, “I looked around and I saw all of these other politicians engaged in self-serving behavior; I saw the greed; I saw the graft; I saw the corruption; I saw the violations of the public’s trust and these charlatans cheating the public and getting rich. So, I said to myself, “Why not me?”
A man and woman were walking through a cemetery. They were taking their time, reading each tombstone before going on to the next. They came to one. On it was inscribed the deceased’s name, his year of birth and year of death and two descriptions. The first was “An Honest Man.” The second was “A Politician.” “Oh, look,” said the wife to her husband. “There are two people buried in that grave.”
Q. What do you get when you cross a crooked politician with a dishonest lawyer?
A. Chelsea Clinton
After successfully getting their big line items approved in the congressional spending package, two lobbyists were celebrating at a Washington restaurant.
“You know,” mused one, “it’s a crying, shame our grandchildren and great-grandchildren haven’t been born yet so they can see the terrific things the government‘s doing with their money…
The workman was hanging a sign outside of Congress. It read, “Solicitors, fakers and grafters will not be permitted in the House.”
Just then a senator happened by. “Better strike out grafters,” he said, “or we’ll never be able to raise a quorum.”
This administration has conclusively discovered how to deal with the deficit.
It’s a skill, which requires addition and distraction…