Authorities from numerous states are closing in on the mad dog serial murderer now known as the “Sour Cream Killer” in light of a fourth major breakthrough in the investigation.
It is the current Christmas festivities that have allowed detectives working across a wide geographical area to piece together further information that will lead to the sociopath’s full identification and capture.
For years, what were to all appearances unrelated homicides were occurring throughout the country, though primarily within the four-state Southwest, with more than two-thirds of those occurring in Southern California.
The first major advance came with the recognition that many of the killings were related. That realization led to what was a second crucial discovery: many or nearly all of the victims were individuals who had in some way become involved in the intermixture of sour cream with Mexican food. Those dying were those who ate, ordered, served or prepared tacos, burritos or nachos which incorporated sour cream.
The third significant investigative advance came when several of the sour cream deaths were connected with a new set of victims – those who indulged in pizza topped with pineapple.
A major segment of the population has been ruled out as suspects, and early in 2025, based on the locales where many of the murders took place and a process of elimination based on the whereabouts of those who had come under suspicion at the times when the murders occurred, all but 186,000 have been eliminated as suspects.
A profile made by psychologists working with the FBI holds that the perpetrator is likely a male ranging in age from 39-to-54, quite possibly a military veteran and/or the graduate of a private junior military academy and/or the product of a very strict upbringing by disciplinary parents or a guardian.
Now comes further word that victims include those who eat, make, sell, purchase or distribute pineapple tamales, which are popular in some households, particularly ones in Southern California, during the Christmas season.
“What we have here is someone who has a very low tolerance for specific types of culinary variety,” said one homicide detective working the case.
In the meantime, until the perpetrator is apprehended, it is advised that people eating in or taking out from pizzerias avoid the pineapple topping and that goes double for those frequenting fast food or sit down restaurants, who are warned that sour cream on standard south-of-the-border cuisine should be avoided.
While the average person’s chance of encountering the Sour Cream Killer at Taco Bell or Del Taco is statistically low, there are several people who are no longer alive who fell within that margin of numerical anomaly, and you really don’t want to set this guy off.